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| Can you feel it.
The pain is deep in side.
Can you feel it.
The worry you can't hide.
Can you feel it.
Your world is crashing down.
And all you feel is numb and cold.
Weak and Small.
Young and Old.
You never saw it coming.
You stayed so far away.
Until you saw it coming.
It was too close to run away.
So close your eyes.
Take a breathe.
Remember all that is lost but yet.
Take a step.
Your not alone.
Just take it in and stand strong.
Your not alone
You will not fall.
Can you feel it.
The wind is blowing strong.
Can you feel it.
The battle is all gone.
Can you feel it.
Your world is holding strong.
Just believe in yourself.
Your gonna make it.
No matter what the storm.
You are a fighter.
Don't forget it.
So close your eyes.
Take a breathe.
Remember all that is lost but yet.
Take a step.
Your not alone. | | |
| Its all ready frightening to see how Publicly and Globally accepted our "President Elect" is. I hate to be the clouds on a sunny day and put a damper on your parade but wake up. Its time to smell the roses. Take the wax out of our ears and the blinders off our eyes. I am not going to bash or say that I hate Barrack Obama, BUT I will say this. . .
In Revelations it states that there will be a leader that rises up and unites the world. There will be world peace.
Are we seeing what has happened since Obama has become president elect? Or are we still happy and rejoicing because we have made a stitch in history. Since when has a President of the United States been given so much adoration from world leaders? Since when has a President been so favored by other nations? I don't think in the history of American Presidents we have had one so highly loved as our 44 President Elect.
They have already been offered gifts, letters, invitations for visiting foreign leaders, and much more the news probably won't ever know. His Inauguration tickets are being sold when they are free. Too many people are head over heals for this guy. And this can be scary.
Have you ever seen the movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days"? The concept of this movie is on a bet. She can't make a guy fall in love with her and make him call it quits in 10 days. The main thing about this movie that I'm trying to point out is. She was playing the sweet, innocent, love-able girlfriend until she had him hooked. Then she "FLIPPED A SWITCH" and crazy, insane, and unlove-able girlfriend appeared to try and break the relationship up.
I have never felt good about Obama but this is one thing I'm scarred to see happen. He is being the most love-able Candidate that the United States has ever seen. The other Nations love him. Kids are being named after him. And we are all in such an awe of him that people are leaving reality. We need to be careful that he doesn't flip a switch on us and decide to make things across the globe unite. If that happens just make sure you are on your knees praying daily because the end is near.
My mom used to tell me as a child that if you aren't telling the whole truth then it isn't the truth at all. Don't bend the truth. They don't call it a white truth because its only partial wrong. Its called a White Lie because if you take any part of the truth away its not a whole truth.
Be cautious don't let Obama take any truth away from things. Just like his belief in Heaven. The bible states clearly that the ONLY way to Heaven is what? John 14:5-7
~Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me..."~
Our beloved president elect has said there are many ways to get to Heaven. He believes being a good person can get you to Heaven. He denied that Christ is the only way we can get to Heaven. I'm sure you will get to Heaven with out Christ. You will get there to be judged by the judgement seat of God and then you will be thrown in to the fiery abyss for eternity. Do Not be deceived.
All this was stemmed from seeing a news article that the Obama's have been offered dogs from around the world. Take a gift from another Nation and you are its friend. Take a gift from a nation and its enemy will hate you. I'm not saying they will take this gift but politics are now playing apart of their decision making on a dog. Why because Obama is an Idle to a lot of people.
Its been a week exactly to the day and already Obama is the next world leader I mean the most favored person amongst so many enemies. Interesting isn't it? | | |
| By Tiffany LaRose 8-18-08 5am.
There comes a point in every girls life where she needs to feel loved and wanted. Some times life goes as it should and every little girl will receive that love from her father. But every once in a while that love disappears and will not be given by the man figure in the girls life. When that happens she starts to look for love in all the wrong places making her life spin out of control until she can't make it stop.
Do we suppress memories due to the fear of the moment or do to the sheer embarrassment of the situation. I believe that it can be a mix of both but for some its the fact that they can't forgive themselves for allowing things to happen the way that they did. Every lady wants to be held and to be told how important she is.
She was never told by her father how much he loved her daily. He never showed her how much he cared for her. The way he showed his love was by leaving her when she was six. If he loved her why would he have left? Why would he have been able to walk out that door and not even look back? His lies is what killed her the most. Saying that he was going to come back, and then didn't. Showing back up in her life for another week and then when she was at school leaving again with out saying 'goodbye'. But is there something more that she is suppressing? How would that be enough for a girl like her to just give up on herself. Well it is enough.
You see it didn't end there. That pattern continued constantly throughout her life and still does to this day. Every man that she respected and loved has walked out on her in one way or another. Left her out in the cold with no hope and no love. Abused their relationship with her and didn't care how it made her feel and how it changed the person she was into who she is today.
Her father left when she was six years old. Out in the cold standing there crying. I think that little girl is still standing there in the cold waiting and hoping for him to come back and sweep her up in his arms and tell her that everything is going to be okay. She is sitting under the tree with her knees to her chest, her face in her lap and tears rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes are red and hair soaked from the crying. All she wants is to be held but there is no one there for her.
She sits there and waits and as the time progresses another girl joins her this time she isn't six but twelve. She isn't crying but she is quiet. She is wrapped in a blanket not letting any part of her be seen except for her face. Her face has a blank stair on it for that is all the emotion she has. This teen is in shock, denial and unbelief. She feels dirty and doesn't want to be seen but wants to be invisible.
In public she would be quiet and only hang around the people and friends she knew. She never had fun and just enjoyed the moment but was always serious. What caused this girl to be so quiet and secretive.
If only we could be let in to see the pain on the inside of this child. She is hurting for she had let someone she loved in. She respected this person, loved them and even looked up to them. I mean that is what an older brother is for right? Well in her life that is wrong.
She had respect for herself, but lost it all in one moment. The moment that she will never forget and forgive herself for. Lying in bed asleep on a hot summer night with no blankets because the air wasn't working well. This little girl is awaken from her sleep not only to be frightened but to find the person she trusted violating everything between them. Being touched in places no little girl should be touched by an older brother. Being felt up in the middle of the night will be a memory suppressed in her mind but at the same time the power of this memory will never let it be completely suppressed.
So these two little girls are sitting under this tree in the pouring rain only to find no comfort from anyone.
They are cold, emotions are rolling and yet it seems like no one cares to stop and comfort them. They have given their cry for help but nothing has been done. No one came to their rescue as they continue to wallow in their pain and anguish. If only someone would have stopped and cared. If only these things didn't happen to these lovely girls.
And then all of a sudden you see another girl join them. This time she is a bit older about seventeen. And she has hatred and disappointment on her face. She looks lost and alone as she sits down beside the other two. What is her story you might ask well she has been let down.
This young lady had someone who cared for her, a father. He was more then just a father but a friend. He cared for her and loved her. He spent time with her and made sure that things were well for her. Even through the fights they had he still loved her and showed her that love by listening when she needed to talk. He gave her a piece of his heart and she gave him a piece of hers. But then that dreadful day came when he was taken from her. The red light was working, the rain was falling, and the alcohol was raging in those veins. If only he wouldn't have volunteered to work that extra shift. Maybe he would have missed that driver.
But that isn't what happened. He left work and was driving down the road to be hit by a drunk running a red light. And he never even stopped to see if he was okay. That man had no life in him. He was laying on the street dying and he drove off. That day this young ladies, father and friend was taken from this world of pain and brought to a better place. She never let her feelings out about this and so bitterness and hatred have built up inside this girl. So she sits under the tree pounding the ground whispering "why".
And then you see this adult walk up. She is in her twenties all mature and sophisticated. But you can tell even through her maturity and sophistication that there is something wrong. There is a longing to be loved. Every man that has been in this woman's life has turned and walked away from her. She is wounded and hurt wanting to find love.
She looked in all the wrong places for love. She tried drinking which was only a temporary fix with a bad hangover. She looked into partying and going out but only to find perverted people not someone who will respect her. She looked into talking with guys but they all wanted 1 thing she didn't want to give. And she looked at everyones children thinking if she had one she could then give this love that she wanted to someone. she could let someone know how it should feel to be loved and cared for. She thinks that a child could be an answer to a lot of her problems.
So now you have four people sitting under this tree hurt and confused. Emotions are so inter- exchangeable that its not even funny. Each girl has a different set of emotions and a different reason for every single one of those emotions. Each of them had been hurt by men in their lives. Each of them are waiting for someone to come and make the pain go away. They want things to be the way they were before the pain started. They don't want to believe the facts of what happened.
That six year old just wants her father to hold her. Love her and rock her to sleep and never let her go like he did when he walked out that door.
That twelve year old just wants an older brother to look up to. She wants the relationship and respect she had for him. But now she feels dirty and doesn't feel like she could be good enough for anyone.
That seventeen year old just wants her friend and father back. The one and only man in her life that had cared for her is gone never to be in her life again.
And that twenty year old. Well that twenty year old is a mix of all three of those girls. Yes all three of those girls are the same person. They are waiting out in the rain for a miracle that will never happen. And so she just suppresses all her feelings and wants deep down inside only to bubble up at 5 am in the morning when her guard is down and when she is vulnerable.
All of a sudden the rain stops and a warmth comes around these four girls sitting under the tree. The rays of sun rap its loving arms around these girls and warms them up. They each hear a quiet voice saying "I am always with you and I will never leave you!" Just let his embrace reach you today were you are in the middle of whatever situation you are in.
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| ~Financial Crisis~
The only thing that people are worried about these days is money. How am I going to be able to pay my rent on the 1st? Where is my next gas fill up going to come from? And of course there are many more questions being asked right now.
As we all know we are in the middle of the worse financial crisis the United States has seen since the Depression which started in the late 1920's and continued into the middle 1930's. We have had the highest number of unemployed citizens and layoffs in a very long time. There have been 19 bank failures in the past year. There was only 2 bank failures in 2007. We are on the verge of a disaster and break down of the American Finances and People.
So many people are blaming this crisis on the "Current" President George W Bush. I for one am not blaming him. He didn't cause you to lose your job, quit your job or even buy that mew HD Blue Ray Digital flat screen TV that you couldn't afford. He didn't make you sign the dotted line on a mortgage agreement that you knew had the chance to go up or down depending on the current market. FYI that is what Variable means. President Bush didn't cause you to be where you are financially so stop blaming him. If you wouldn't spend money on things you can't afford then you wouldn't be crunching pennies.
The Media/Advertisements are to blame. How many times growing up as a child did you see an add for a bike, game, toy or outfit and say "Mommy Mommy I want that toy" or "Bobby has it so I want it"? I'm sure we all can pled guilty to that. We see something and want it no matter if we need it or not. The adds make it look so amazing and wonderful and we feel we have to have it to fulfill ourselves. What we don't understand is the fact that the adds are supposed to do that. They are to make us want something we can't afford or have. The media does the same thing. Movies portray relationships that are picture perfect but they aren't real and true to life.
The point I am getting at is, Bush isn't to blame so stop blaming him. Blame yourselves! Maybe Bush made some decisions we didn't agree with but until you walk a mile in his shoes don't go Judging. We say that about others. When you hear someone talk bad about you or say something about a decision you make do you just brush it off. NO! There have been plenty of times that people say things to the effect of "If only they knew the whole story", or "They don't understand what is going on in my life right now". Ok so maybe we don't understand but then how can you say you understand what the President is going through. How would you like to run the country? I'm sure you would want to quit in a day because its to difficult.
Americans have become lazy in themselves. We don't want to get our hands dirty and so when it takes to much effort we give up. If only you would care more about looking for that job instead of sitting at home eating those potato chips and watching Soaps. The reason so many people haven't had the money to pay their bills is because they don't care enough to get a job. Don't say the economy is bad and there aren't any jobs out there. I know for a fact there are plenty of jobs available but do you want to do it is another question. So it might not be an amazing job but does it need to be done yes. If we didn't have any maintenance at Wal-Mart the bathrooms would be overflowing and Wal-Mart would stink. Who would go shopping there then?
We need to stop being a selfish all about me Country. Its time for us to stand up and fix our economy. We can't wait for the government to ride in on a White Horse and be our prince charming. We need to step up. Stop buying things that you don't need. Start paying off your bills and debts. The reason banks close is because people keep buying things you don't need. And then when the bill come due you don't have money to pay them.
Too many times we depend on the Government to sweep down and save us from any issues we are having. It is to easy to let americans get lazy. You don't have a job thats ok we don't care here is $680 a month to start. That is the base rate for Social Security/Unemployment checks. If you were making more a month then that you might be subject to receiving more. On top of that check they have affordable housing and housing assistance aides to help you pay for rent. We have to many ways for someone to receive money if they aren't working. It needs to be harder. So many people are just living off the government not even caring to find a job because as long as the checks keep coming they are fine. That is how we get lazy. Instead of someone looking for a job they sit home an watch TV cause they get a check monthly to cover everything.
There are people out there that need this assistance don't get me wrong. Not everyone is being lazy but there are some who are ridding the Government for all its worth. Here is something that always bothered me and never made any sense. A Bum stands on the side of the road from 7am till 7pm every single day come rain or shine. He stands there asking for money with a sign that says "No job will work for food or money". WHAT! If you would spend half the effort and energy he put into standing on "his" corner begging for money into looking for a job, he could have found one yesterday.
Obama is now the President Elect. In January he will become the next president of the United States. I can't say that I like him all that much but I'm not going to talk bad about him. Just like Bush! Everyone for the last 3 years stated how much they hated BUSH but when someone talks bad about OBAMA you get red faced. Please with all courtesy we are free to voice our opinions just as you are and have in the past. Since everyone is saying that Obama is going to bring change why don't you try to start changing yourself. Obama can't change you only you can change you. Don't be fooled into thinking Obama will fix your individual issues. He can't and he won't. You need to get up and fix them yourselves.
So my point to all this is, Stop being lazy and depending on the Government to fix everything.
To those who read this whole thing thanks for sticking it out. I tend to start writing at 2am and can't stop. | | |
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The journey up the Wall
Current mood: distraught
This is a story that was downloaded to me one night this week at 3 am while I couldn't sleep.
I feel I have hit a brick wall and I don't have the strength to climb over it. All I see when I reach up is never ending wall. I try to find a foot hole or some thing to hold on to but can't find anything. I look back behind me and see all the things I have traveled through to get to this point and I fall to the ground in sorrow. I sob in despair and I become a human ball letting no one come near me to comfort me. My head in my lap I feel a tap on my shoulder but I don't look up because despair has over taken me and I am a shamed to show my face. I hear a voice saying 'daughter give me your hand, I am here and I want to help you climb this wall" I look up only to see that no one is there. In desperation I cry out where have you gone, why have you left me alone. And then I hear a whisper "I have never left you. I am here, reach out and take my hand." I reach out and feel a strength come about me. I stand up and walk back up to the wall.
I again hear the voice. Reach up and take hold of the rope. Rope, I didn't notice a rope before. I look up and just beyond my arms length is a rope. I try to grasp it but it's just out of reach. I strain and fight but to no avail. I was just about to give up again when I notice a notch in the wall big enough to step into. Right above it was a word "salvation". I look at it curiously and then I place my foot in the notch and step up. All of a sudden I am standing in a bedroom. I look around and notice that it is my mom's bedroom in the first house I remember living in. All of a sudden the light comes on and in I walk about three years old and my mother. Mom sits down on the edge of the bed and reaches down and picks me up and sits me down next to her. While watching this I remember it like it happened yesterday. Mom asks me "So you want Jesus to live in your heart?" The little girl looks up at her mother and with a big smile on her face says "yes." So her mom kneels down beside the bed and tells her daughter to kneel with her. She gets down on her knees and folds her hands. They say a little prayer together and with tears in her eyes, my mom reaches over and gives me a big hug and says "I am so proud of you."
I am suddenly back at the wall and as I step up I reach for the rope and I grab it. "Daughter" I hear again "take your time I will help you up the wall. Don't rush your footing" I take my foot out of the notch and place it on the wall as I take the next step I see another brick with a word on it. "Life" as I place my foot on it I have a flash back. I am standing on a patio by a pool party. I see a lot of people having fun, talking and laughing. And then in the middle of the crowd I see a little girl about four years old and know it's me. I see her running around having fun with her daddy. The host calls down to the pool area letting everyone know the food is ready. Everyone starts to head up toward the house to eat. After eating the little girl couldn't sit still waiting for everyone else so she pulls her daddy's hand and takes him toward the pool. I sit down on the edge and stick my feet in. One of my dad's guy friends walks down and starts talking to my dad. My dad turns his back to me while he talks to his friend. All of a sudden while kicking my feet in the water I fall in. Not knowing how to swim I start drowning. I remember looking up through the water my mouth open trying to cry but can't. My dad's friend sees me drowning and jumps in the pool and lifts me out. My dad's friend saved my life.
I am then back to the wall with the rope in hand so with a fresh breathe of life I take a step. Right foot then left foot slowly after the other. And all a sudden I see another word on a brick this time is says "divorce." Not wanting to remember this I try to step around it but I hear a loving voice say "daughter I am with you, don't worry I will help you through the memories like I did while it was happening. Remembering will help you heal and get stronger." So I take a deep breathe and place my right foot on the brick and I'm lying in bed after mom tucked me in. I am staring at the ceiling as I start to drift off to sleep. I suddenly was awakened to yelling outside of my window. Being a very curious six year old I went to the window to see what in the world was going on out side while it was dark. We lived above my grandmother in the third floor apartment. I looked out the window which over looked the driveway and there I saw my parents standing by the cars. I heard yelling but did not have a clue as to what was going on down there. Since I was worried about it I decided to go down there. I walk out of my room into my brothers, I wake him up and we head down to the driveway. When we get there I could see the look on my moms face and knew that something was not right.
I asked what was going on and mom said "nothing just get back in the house" I am stubborn and said "NO". My brother and I stood behind my mom who was looking at my dad. Tears rolling down her face she continues the conversation with my dad. They both were yelling at each other. I do not remember what they were talking about. All I remember is after standing there for a little bit my parents were getting really frustrated with each other. My mom must have had my dad's keys in her hands. After I stood there for like ten to twenty minutes my mom threw my dad's car keys over the car into the grass on the other side. He went around the car and went looking for his keys. After he found them he walked back to his car got in and pulled away.
By this time I was crying because I didn't understand what was going on. Mom took us in to the house. Got us some clothes and we got into her car and went to a friend's house. I remember them making a bed for us in the living room and Phillip and I laid down in the living room while mom went and talked to her friends about what had just happened. I laid awake for a little listening but couldn't hear what they were saying and finally fell asleep. For a few months my dad moved in and out a few times and then they finally decided they were separating and my dad moved in with another woman.
After this memory I didn't want to take this wall slowly. I don't want to stop on these bricks filled with memories. I want to get to the top. So not listening to what I was told earlier I climb fast and sloppy. I look up and don't see the top but I climb fast wanting to get over it. All of a sudden as I place my foot on the wall and a piece of it cracks and breaks off. I slip and start to fall loosing my footing. Not strong enough my grasp to the rope is lost and I start to fall. I yell out "help me I'm falling" only to fall for a moment some one reached out and took a hold of my hand to keep me from falling too far. "Daughter you must trust me and listen to what I say. I will lead you and help you climb this wall" I look up into these ever loving eyes so filled with love I begin to weep. "Why must I climb this wall I ask. "daughter just like the tough times you went through to get here made you stronger so must this wall make you stronger because what I have planned for you on the other side of this wall is great but you must be strong enough for it" I nod in understanding but reluctant to give up I say "I will listen to you for I need to get over this wall" ...........(to be continued) | | |
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